[Bonus] 5th Anniversary!

* Rough Transcript *

5th_Aniversary

Leah: Embracing intensity is power and powerful. It’s using creative life force that is out of the box and letting it find its own way in a culture that has lost its own way. And it’s being compassionate towards difference and towards possibility

Aurora: Welcome to the Embracing Intensity Podcast. I’ll be sharing interviews and tips for gifted, creative, twice exceptional, and outside-the-box thinkers who use their fire in a positive way. My name is Aurora Remember Holtzman. After years of feeling too much, I finally realized that intensity is the source of my greatest power.

Now, instead of beating myself up about not measuring up to my own self-imposed standards, I’m on a mission to help people embrace their own intensity and befriend their brains so they can share their gifts with the world through the Embracing Intensity community, coaching, educational assessment, and other tools to help use your fire without getting burned.

You can join us at embracingintensity.com.

So I originally wasn’t going to do another episode this week because I’ve moved to every other week, and that seems to really be working well for me to help focus my energy on different content beyond the podcast. So that has been awesome. But it’s my fifth anniversary of the Embracing Intensity podcast, so I thought I should do a little something special in celebration.

So instead of creating a whole new episode, I decided to share a couple of past episodes, 100 and 195, which was my fourth anniversary, where I asked audience members and past guests and community members to share what does embracing intensity mean to me? And it was great to listen back on the ones, especially from the first episode, ’cause it had been a long time since I heard it, so it was really great to listen again.

And another super exciting thing to celebrate for my fifth anniversary is I have a brand new website. So embracingintensity.com is now my main website. You can still find the community at community.embracingintensity.com, but embracingintensity.com now encompasses my entire Embracing Intensity work. And I wanted to do that switchover because gradually so many of the projects that I’m working on are collaborative things or things that involve other people, and I wanted to shift the focus away from me and towards the greater Embracing Intensity mission.

So that includes things like the 2E Connection directory and marketplace website that I’ve created, as well as the upcoming projects that I have, like the Twice Exceptional comics that I’ve been working on. And so that’s been really exciting, and you can now check it out at embracingintensity.com. Enjoy.

So now on to the question, what does embracing intensity mean to you? And first, I put that question to my Facebook group, and some sent me audio and a few responded in writing. So Chloe, who’s in, in the group, says, “It means I’m not crazy and not alone in the way I think and feel.” And I believe that is a common theme that I get from people who discover this podcast, and I’m always thrilled when a new person makes that connection.

Another person who– Anne Louise, who is actually my assistant helping with marketing and copywriting on the Express Your Power website. Anne Louise says Radical self-acceptance that not only is it merely okay to be passionate and intense in my interests, thoughts, and feelings, but indeed they are my greatest strengths.

Awesome. Thank you, Anne Louise and Chloe, for sharing your thoughts. Now I’m going to share some recordings from the other past guests and audience members. The first one is Angel, who is a newer listener who discovered me not long ago, and she also started a Facebook page called Embracing Gifted, which has an awesome compilation of different links that she has curated over time to help gifted adults.

Angel: For me, embracing my own intensity has come in waves of aha moments. The really big realization for me came after having kids when observing my kids who I knew were gifted, I suddenly saw myself being reflected back at me through their quirks, their existential thoughts or crises, their perfectionism. I could go on and on As a psychology student, a lot of emphasis has been put on pathology in my life.

So whenever I would feel different, it was very easy to go down that road and ruminate on why I didn’t seem to be like many other people. Once I realized that I was basically the adult version of my kids in this way, of course, I ravenously researched and read about giftedness. My husband jokes that I tend to do this a lot, have about 100 tabs open on my laptop because I feel the need to be an expert on the subject by the end of that exact day.

But in all of my digging, I happened to stumble across the Embracing Intensity podcast, which immediately resonated with me on a profoundly deep level. While listening to my first ever Embracing Intensity podcast, I remember having it on when I was cleaning and thinking, “Oh my God, they’re describing me.

How do they know all this about me? I don’t tell this stuff to anybody.” It sounds silly now, but up until that moment, I had never heard anyone talk out loud about the way I was feeling on the inside in a way that was so accurate. It was like a whole world was opening up to me, and everything within myself that had never made sense was so clear.

I think my biggest takeaway at this point in my journey is that it takes courage to be your true self. I hesitate to say that because it sounds so cliché, but for gifted people, I think this often means avoiding the tendency to shrink ourselves down and be small in order to make those around us more comfortable, to hide our too muchness, and to resist the social pressures that say our desire to know it all, be it all, do it all, and experience it all is somehow inappropriate My whole life I have had this internal struggle to fit the mold.

To come across a community of individuals that are so similar to myself feels amazing. I think many people don’t understand the intensities of gifted people, and many times this leads to misunderstandings or a lack of identification with that other person. You may feel you have nothing in common with anyone you know.

As a result, you may question yourself or try to shrink yourself down in order to keep certain friends, jobs, or even relationships. So for me, it feels really great to have this other group of amazing people kind of beckoning to me saying, “Hey, we get it. We understand. Come over here where you can be exactly who you are.”

I feel like I’m just scratching the surface of who I actually am. It feels a bit like watching a baby who is learning to walk for the first time. But I look forward to learning more about how to wield my intensity in new and amazing ways.

Aurora: The next one is Lana, and I’m– full disclosure here, Lana is one of my closest friends, and she has been with me from the start.

She was here long before the podcast, and she participated in all of my group programs with the Ignite Your Power course. And when she talks about that course, it is now available through the Patreon link at the $10 a month level, and you can access all the course work that she talked about. And as far as the group goes, you can join us on the League of Excitable Women, and we also are having our monthly group calls the first Saturday of every month at 10:00 AM Pacific.

And this month we have Anna Maria Call, who will be talking about gifted culture, and the following month we’re having a book study with Paula Prober on Your Rainforest Mind. So check it out. You can find links on the website and show notes, and we would love to have you join our community, both on Patreon and on Facebook.

Lana: Hello, this message is for Aurora and her Embracing Intensity podcast. Here is my answer to the question: what does embracing intensity mean to you? I am somebody who’s been through the Embracing Intensity program as it’s been built. I’ve had the pleasure of doing the video lessons and being involved in a number of group calls.

So, um, I feel very much able to talk about it, uh, as someone who’s several steps along on my own learning journey So as I’ve been learning about intensity, I’ve also been given the tools and the community support to understand my challenges and feel empowered to do something about them, um, including ways to manage and channel my energies, which is my big focus because I like to get a lot of things done

The big change that’s come with going through these lessons has been being able to look back and see how intensity’s been affecting me my whole life, um, and the way that it runs in my family. I come from a family where staying up past midnight is a regular practice, where gathering together twenty-five to fifty people on a weekend to spend six hours eating, drinking, and talking is also a regular practice.

And looking back and seeing these things that I took for granted in a new light. I’ve also been able to notice the ways that I had learned to tone myself down, and this is giving me insights into my physical health. Learning about all of the various types of intensities has helped me look at other sensitivities, um, beyond having a very active mind and imagination.

Um, I now realize the ways that being intense has manifested in my body, and I noticed the first change with my learning journey being, um, giving myself permission to rest more. Because before I thought I’ve always been very high energy, and I should be able to just get everything that I wanna get done every day, and discovering that I’m actually working harder, um, maybe than the next person, then I am able to give myself permission to take more breaks, get out of my head, and not feel that I’m failing myself.

Discovering that there are other si- types of sensitivities has, uh, wakened me to the ways that I’ve been blocking some of the signals. As a child, I was very sensitive to smells, and as an adult, I have a very dull sense of smell. As a child, I often got overwhelmed and fainted, and just thought of myself as a kind of weak and sickly person.

But looking back, I get to realize that I was just very sensitive and didn’t know how to cope with it. So now I’m excited to use the tools, um, that Aurora has gathered together, ways to soothe myself, ways to honor, um, what my challenges are, and, um, come up with ways to get beyond the unconscious coping and into active management.

Um, and as I said, mostly this is about giving myself permission to be tired and to prioritize things that rejuvenate me and not see it as weakness Knowing that my ideas come in a flood and that’s just how my mind works gives me permission to not take all of them so seriously. My mind is just gonna generate ideas.

I don’t have to follow through on all of them. And this is, um, the latest challenge, uh, just prioritizing what I actually want and deciding what I’m gonna take action on in the face of having a list that I would love to get through. And, um, also finding ways to use my other senses besides just my mind, um, to figure out what I really wanna do and try to feel my way forward instead of just thinking my way forward

The other exciting thing that’s come about on this journey with Aurora has been hearing all the other voices that are speaking words that have been inside me for so long. Um, it’s exciting to hear that other people are very particular about their words. It’s exciting to other people. Uh, it’s exciting to hear about other people who had decided that taking on the challenge of being their authentic self was a better path forward, rather than continuing to struggle with how to fit yourself into a quote, unquote normal version of life, or try to keep up with people who just aren’t as intense.

And seeing people who have done this successfully and can say from the other side, uh, that they are happier to be a truer version of themselves, and just to hear voices that I identify with, uh, is such an uplifting thing each week

Aurora: This next recording is from Rukshana Treem, who is a past guest on the show and has an amazing story in her s- of, of her own.

She is a coach and a speaker, and also does a lot around getting women out in nature, and she is such an inspiration.

Rukshana: This is a recording what embracing intensity means to me. So a couple of years ago, I went to a conference in California called One Life Conference, and I was so, so inspired by all the speakers who, uh, shared their stories of adversity.

It made me realize how I was so passionate about helping women around the world, to the point where I jumped with my two feet and I didn’t allow fear and limiting belief in my head. I didn’t allow the, you know, the critique and the voices from my family and friends to discourage me from starting my own business, writing a book, Living from Strength and Faith: A Rough Hike from Refugee to Success, to inspiring women around the world, and now building a school in Melane, Mozambique, Africa.

I totally embrace all of that. I embrace coaching, now public speaking. I’m embracing the idea of giving back to the country I came from, and I’m embracing my journey and my story, and to be able to get to a point where, um, every day I look at it as a gift to say, “What a gift that I am here today. Now I’m able to give back to the country that I came from.”

So for me, that’s what embracing intensity is. Thank you.

Aurora: These next two recordings are from The Fringy Bit duo. If you have not listened to The Fringy Bit podcast, you really, really should. It makes me laugh every time I do. And when I was a guest on their show, I was literally in tears laughing. And when Heather asked to keep her recording equipment out so that she could record something for the show, John decided he wanted to share, too, and both of them are awesome.

Check out their podcast, The Fringy Bit.

John: Aurora, you weren’t expecting this. This is John from The Fringy Bit. Heather told me it was your 100th episode, and so I wanted to say hi and to tell you what embracing intensity means to me. Um, I have a very intense daughter, and so literally embracing intensity is when I give her a big old hug.

Congratulations on your 100th. Here’s to 100 more. Bye.

Heather: Hey, Aurora, it’s Heather from The Fringy Bit. And first, congratulations. 100 episodes is a huge accomplishment. Um, and second, what does embracing intensity mean to me? Um, well, first it means friends, and, uh, so grateful to call you a friend and be able to hear all these other fabulous women, and some of whom I have met and would consider friends, and some of whom I just feel like are my friends even though they have no idea who I am.

So, um, yeah, embracing intensity has been about friendship and, um, just acceptance and hearing awesome thoughts and words to ponder and reflect on, and oftentimes to giggle and laugh about. So it is, um, a joy-filled, uh, half hour to hour of my time every week. Thanks for d- providing it, and keep it up. See ya.

Aurora: And the final recording is from Diane Wingert, who is a coach and therapist and works with gifted and ADHD adults. And she is also on my list to look into interviewing down the road

Diane: Hey everybody, this is Diane Wingert. I’m a licensed therapist and certified coach in Pasadena, California, and I work with entrepreneurs with ADHD challenges.

Embracing intensity for me means practicing radical self-acceptance in every area of my life around my giftedness and my ADHD traits. It means giving up self-pity, excuses, explaining, rationalizing, justifying, apologizing, blaming, and hiding. It means taking full responsibility for my intensity in all the ways that it shows up and creating a business, relationships, and a lifestyle that take that intensity into consideration.

Aurora: From my friend Leah of Leah K. Walsh Coaching, giving creative, conscious, sensitive humans the resources and support to ground their confidence and awaken their unique impact. I’ve been talking a lot more to Leah lately because she’s been really delving into learning more about neurodiversity and twice-exceptionality, and she has a lot of great resources and events that she shares on her website and newsletter.

Leah: Embracing intensity is power and powerful It’s using creative life force that is out of the box and letting it find its own way in a culture that has lost its own way. And It’s being compassionate towards difference and towards possibility.

Aurora: The next one is from Jeff, who I met on Twitter when we both interacted on a post about twice exceptionality.

And that morning, he followed my page and saw that I had a community call coming up. And he joined us that morning and joined the community right before a big summer scavenger hunt. And he dove right in with enthusiasm and has been an active member of the community. He’s a certified peer specialist at Peer Hopes, and he’s working to build more community for gifted, neurodiverse, and twice exceptional individuals.

Jeff: The community, Embracing Intensity community, helped me a lot because there’s not a lot of communities out there for adults who are twice exceptional. And so finding that community put me in touch with other people like myself. So the intensity is, it’s still there, but it’s less stigmatized and I’m less self-conscious about it.

Because I don’t have a choice but to embrace the intensity because I can’t do anything about it. I can’t turn it off. I can’t make it go away. It’s just like being gay or autistic. So having a community where I can embrace it or have it be a strength or at least not attacked or stigmatized is very helpful.

And I feel like when I’m around other people who are like myself and intense, I can move forward. I can make progress. I can get things done. The communication flows better. I have less obstacles and roadblocks to overcome when I’m interacting outside of a community of non-twice exceptional people. So that’s what Embracing Intensity means to me.

Aurora: Next up, we have Tiffany, who you will find on episode 127, Turning Intensity into Achievement While Helping Others, and on a short animated story that I made on YouTube called I Just Want My Snacks, a story about the pressures of giftedness.

Tiffany: Hey everybody, this is Tiffany Chwom. I own Lucy in the Sky Therapy for neurodiverse adults where I provide telehealth as a therapist.

I am also a trainer in ethics and marketing for telehealth and own a company called EthTech. And I just wanted to give a shout out to Aurora for her amazing podcast, Embracing Intensity. She wanted me to record an answer to the following question. What does the Embracing Intensity podcast mean to me?

Wow. I mean, I don’t even know that I can put that into words, but I feel like first it means a sense of belonging. You know, I feel like I have connected so much with the, the message. I haven’t connected with as many of the speakers, but I need to and want to. I feel like even though a lot of the speakers on this show maybe don’t know who I am, I feel like we’re part of a community.

And just to have that validation that my own experiences growing up, um, and the difficulty I face with getting tested and struggling through the public school system, but also even now as a professional, I still find all the time that I have to tone it down to fit in in a world that isn’t very accepting of those of us who are twice exceptional.

But this podcast means even more to me because it’s become an invaluable tool for me to share with my therapy clients. And so the gifts that this podcast continue to provide to me and also to the communities that I serve really just can’t be put into words. Um, I appreciate so much what Aurora has done, and I don’t know where she’s going next, but I’m so excited to watch and to continue to learn.

So I hope everybody stay strong, stay grounded, and continue to stay neurodiverse.

Aurora: I’ve worked with Anne Louise for a few years off and on now, and she’s been extremely generous with her time proofreading workbooks, et cetera, and al- is always there to, with a listening ear. She said, “To me, embracing intensity means fully integrating every part of myself and being proud of the aspects that make me different and unique.

It’s about accepting what is unconventional about my psyche or what may not be readily understood by those who are neurotypical and using my own individual way of showing up in the world as a source of strength.” And now we have Matthias, who I had the privilege to become friends with through one of my closest friends and active participants in my Ignite Your Power program, who’s now his wife, Lana.

Lana shared her thoughts on my 100th episode, so I thought I’d ask Matthias to do so for this episode, and I hope to do a full interview with Lana soon. It warms my heart to see two such wonderful people embracing their intensity together

Mathias: What does embracing intensity mean to me? Um, I think mostly it’s a perspective shift, how we look at ourselves, especially the parts of ourselves that other people might see as difficult or that might cause difficulties for us, and recognizing that every part of ourself, every behavior, every feeling, every thought pattern exists for a reason, and trying to see what that reason is.

What is this part of myself, this intense emotional reaction, for example, actually trying to do for me? What’s it trying to accomplish? And how can I take what’s helpful and be compassionate with that part of myself and use it as best I can to further my goals and my values?

Aurora: Now, Shannon was one of my first and most active members in the Embracing Intensity community.

She shared, “I was so excited when Embracing Intensity came out as a community. I had really been enjoying the podcast and thought I would find a great place for me on the network. I was very shy. I still haven’t posted an introductory post, but it’s been a huge support to me over the past few years. It’s really comforting to me to be among fun, passionate people who share where they’re at, including tough days.

It helps me to really see that I’m not the only one with variable energy, a range of things I’m really excited about, and tons of curiosity. The calls and events I have attended online have been really enjoyable and welcoming, and I do my best to watch the recordings of the ones I miss. Some weeks I’m not feeling social and mostly read and ponder, and some weeks I share more.

The accountability subgroup has been a really helpful and non-judgmental way to think about what I want from my days. I’ve gotten a lot from the Ignite Your Power program too. Thank you, Aurora, for hosting this community and the podcast and all the events, and thank you to the guests and members who share about what being intense and gifted and 2E and all the things mean to them.

I’m really glad I’m here.” And last but not least, we have my friend Javon of Ms. Clados Studios, which is an inclusive art studio serving children and adults online and in person. Collaboration and art thinking are the tools we use to create fun experiences for artists of all abilities.

Javaughn: This is Javon Fernanders, and, uh, some days my intensity feels like a curse.

Thickened ideation or hyper-focused on a project for six minutes. Embracing that intensity means not believing in its curse, but treating it like a blessing, nurturing my intensity and thanking God, uh, with the help of Aurora here, and learning about it. I’ve actually been investing in my intensity so its flame can produce great things.

Aurora: Looking for ways to embrace your own intensity? Join our Embracing Intensity community at embracingintensity.com, where you’ll meet a growing group of like-minded people who get what it’s like to be gifted and intense and are committed to creating a supportive community, as well as access to our courses and tools to help you use your fire without getting burned.

There’s also a pay-what-you-can option through our Patreon, where you can increase your pledge to help sustain the podcast or join us at a rate that better fits your needs. You can also sign up for my free Harnessing the Power of Your Intensity, a self-regulation workbook for gifted, creative, and twice-exceptional adults and teens.

All links can be found in the show notes or on embracingintensity.com.