I’ve been revisiting the power of the word “no” lately. I was getting pretty good at it, in fact I wrote a blog post about it, but shortly after that I felt compelled to say “yes” to additional work at my day job and then got caught up in taking on commitments that drained me rather than fed me. Having taken on certain commitments, it would have been out of integrity for me to back out, so I had to take a look at what else I was letting in to my life.
When I interviewed Sophia Treyger for my Embracing Intensity Podcast, she was at the very beginning of her own journey of saying no.
I recently attended an Intimacy Soiree with Sophia Treyger about what we have manifested in our lives, and she talked about finding the relationship she had always been looking for, so eloquently expressed in this blog post. One key factor for her was saying no to the opportunities that were just OK, so that she could leave room for the big yes! Connecting deeply with herself enabled her to connect even more deeply with others, including in her relationship and her thriving Intimacy Soiree community. If you are in the Porland, OR area, I highly recommend you attend on of Sophia’s Events. She has a gift for bringing out deeply intimate conversations!
I too found that taking a break from dating is what led me to my marriage, and being selective with whom I spend my time is the key to maintaining my energy.
Relationships are such an integral part of our level of functioning! I have found as well, that when I make the effort to include only those people who nourish me into my life, my energy is higher for dealing with other things that come up. This year I had the most busy chaotic start to a school year I have ever had, but yet my energy is much higher and my headaches fewer than last year. What is the difference? The people I spend the majority of my time with are all supportive of eachother. There is a feeling of being in this together.
Sometimes, even an extravert like me, has to take a break from social commitments. Last year, when I moved out to the country and took on extra work, I needed to turn inward and connect with myself. I started moving away from large group activities to more intimate ways of connecting. As the social butterfly I’ve always been, this left room for feeling like a bad friend because I didn’t reach out to my circle of friends nearly as much. But when I do get to connect, it makes it all that much sweeter!
Sometimes what energizes us at one time in our lives is not what energizes us in another.
What are you saying “yes” to that may no longer serve you? What areas of your life are you finding draining? What would you like to say “yes” to that brings you energy or opens you up to exciting possibilities?